Facing fears

Imagine: You just arrived two days in your new hometown and you’re on the toilet, you’re getting some toiletpaper and suddenly something falls out of the roll. In a splitsecond you drop the paper you’re holding and there he is. In-between the toiletpaper is an Australian Spider. Not comparable with the small dutch spiders, but a spider almost as big as my hand with long legs, a big, black body and two front legs that look like nippers…

Now, I’m usually not really scared of spiders, not that they make me happy on the other hand, but spiders are doable (in contrary of mice). But all my experience with spiders, and removing them, immediately disappeared when I saw how big this spider was… I never came of the toilet as quick as I did this time! After some attempts to be brave, I gave up and decided to try to go to sleep. While I was sleeping I really hoped that he would stay in the bathroom, if not he would walk right into my bedroom. After I slept for about an hour I opened my eyes and there he was! On the opposite wall of my bed there was a black spot; the spider found his way into my bedroom. I never prayed for God to rescue me from a spider, but for everything there is a first time and this was my first time for me praying to be rescued for a spider. While I was praying the spider started walking towards the door that goes to the patio outside, I opened this door a little bit and eventually the spider walked out and I literally smashed the door closed. I could sleep in the end!

At least that’s what I thought, but I realised that this ‘adventure’ exposed some things. I had some adrenaline running through my body, but what I thought was weird was my fear. I’m not easily scared of something like I was now and I felt that this fear wasn’t just completely the spider. Of course the spider was really big and scary and I’d rather not wake up with that spider in my bed. But the fear I felt came from somewhere deeper. Apparently this fear touched other fears that were under the surface. The fear of a new adventure, new people to meet and already met and not knowing yet what I got myself into. What God taught me through this night was that I can be frightened by what is going on and that I, as a child of God, can find shelter behind my Daddy, when He’s the brave one rescuing me, from a spider for example. But sometimes God asks of me to help Him with the last bit, not because He can’t do it without me, but because He don’t want it to do without me. Sometimes He wants to give me an experience of how strong and courageous I can be when He is on my side. Closing the door was frightening, because the spider was still there, if it didn’t work out how I pictured it, the spider would land right on me. But I was the only one who could close the door, nobody else was there to do it for me.

After this ‘adventure’ I was reminded of the scripture in Psalms 18:29 where it says that with God I can scale a wall or walk into a troop. A few days later I heard one of the songs of the new album of Bethel Music, the song is called ‘No longer slaves of fear’. A powerful song with the proclamation that I am no longer a slave of fear, because I am a child of God. Curious at this song? Listen it hear.

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